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Home > Cats > Do Cats Have an Alpha Human? Feline Affection Explained

Do Cats Have an Alpha Human? Feline Affection Explained

Woman carrying a cat close to her face

The concept of an “alpha” is typically associated with dogs. Some trainers believe that every pack of dogs has an “alpha1” leader and that the other members of the pack defer to this leader. Many animal behavior experts2 have called the alpha dog concept a myth3, but what about cats?

The answer is no, cats don’t have an alpha human. In fact, the very idea of an alpha human doesn’t exist in the feline world. Cats are independent creatures who don’t feel the need to follow anyone’s lead.

To understand why cats don’t have an alpha human, it’s important to first understand how their social structure works.


Cats Are Solitary Animals

Unlike their bigger cousins like lions and tigers, cats don’t naturally live in groups. In the wild, they’re typically solitary creatures. They only come together during mating season, and even then, they disperse soon after.

While clowders (groups of cats) do exist, they typically form around a food source and lack a real social hierarchy. In other words, there’s no one cat in charge of the clowder. Everyone just sort of does their own thing.

This solitary lifestyle extends to the domestic cat world as well. Even though cats live in close proximity to each other in our homes, they don’t form the same type of bond as dogs do with their pack.

Cats Don’t Defer to Humans

Since cats don’t have an innate desire to follow anyone’s lead, it’s unlikely that they would ever defer to a human. In their mind, we’re just another member of the clowder—not a leader.

So, all those “alpha” training methods, such as making your cat submit to you, forcing them to sit before you pet them, or walking through doorways first, are completely pointless. And if you try to use them, you’re likely just to stress out your cat without getting anywhere.

Black cat meowing at person
Image Credit By: jingoba, Pixabay

Do Cats Have a Favorite Human?

If you live in a multi-person home and own a cat, you’ve probably wondered if your feline friend has a favorite human. While cats may not have an alpha human, they can certainly form deep and lasting bonds with individual people.

Still, the process is far simpler than our concept of “favoritism.” In the cat world, there’s no such thing as choosing one person over another. Instead, cats simply gravitate toward the people who treat them the best. For instance, a cat is more likely to bond with a human who provides them with regular meals, plenty of toys, and lots of love and attention.

Since cats are excellent communicators, they also connect more with people who understand their cues. If you can read your cat’s body language and vocalizations, they’re more likely to see you as a friend and confidante.


How Cats Show Love and Affection

Cats have always been portrayed as cold, aloof creatures, but they’re actually quite affectionate pets! They just express their love in different ways than dogs and humans do.

Image Credit: Marina-mrs_brooke, Shutterstock
Here are some ways your cat is telling you that they love and trust you:
  • Purring: This low, rumbling sound is a sure sign of contentment in cats. When they purr, they’re often trying to communicate that they feel safe and happy in your presence.
  • Head-Butting and Nose-Touching: Cats have scent glands on their faces, so when they headbutt or touch you with their noses, they’re actually marking you as part of their territory. It’s a sign of ownership, but also of affection.
  • Slow Blinking: When a cat stares at you and slowly blinks their eyes (sometimes called kitty kisses), it’s a sign of trust and relaxation. They wouldn’t do this around someone they didn’t feel comfortable with.
  • Kneading: This is a behavior that kittens often do when they’re nursing, but adult cats may also do it when they’re feeling content. It’s thought to be a sign of affection, as well as a way to mark you as their territory.
  • Grooming: If your cat licks or grooms you, it’s a sign of affection and trust. Not only are they cleaning you, but they’re also sharing their scent with you. This is their way of claiming you as part of their family.
  • Tail Up: A tail that’s held high is another positive sign in feline body language. It means they feel confident and comfortable around you.
  • Sleeping Near You: Cats are naturally independent creatures, so when they choose to sleep close to you, it’s a sign that they enjoy being in your presence.

How to Form a Closer Bond with Your Cat

Just because your cat doesn’t defer to you or follow you around all the time like a pup, it doesn’t mean you can’t be best friends. You do have to understand how to speak their language, though.

Here are some tips for forming a closer bond with your cat:

1. Respect Their Independence

Cats are naturally independent creatures, so it’s important to respect that they may not always want to be cuddled or petted. Instead, let them come to you when they’re ready for affection. This way, they’ll feel in control and more comfortable around you.

cute sleeping white himalayan cat in hepper nest bed

2. Learn Their Language

Do you know what your cat is “saying” when they meow, purr, or flick their tail? If not, it might be time to learn a little bit about cat body language.

For example, stress in cats can manifest itself in different ways, such as excessive grooming, urinating outside the litter box, or becoming more aggressive. A meowing cat may not be looking for attention or trying to be annoying—they may be hungry. The better you understand cat language, the better you can cater to their needs.

3. Create a Safe, Comfortable Environment

Cats feel safest when they’re in familiar surroundings, so try to create a space in your home that’s just for them. This could be a cozy spot with a soft bed, some toys, and a few of their favorite things. When they have a space that’s all their own, they’ll be more likely to relax and feel comfortable showing you affection.

sleeping spyhnx cat in hepper pod bed

4. Make Sure Their Basic Needs Are Met

Cats need food, water, shelter, and clean litter to go potty in. Failing to meet these basic needs will only make them stressed, aggressive, and in some cases, afraid of the world around them, including you. A full and warm cat is a happy cat, and a happy cat is more receptive to affection from their humans.

5. Research the Traits of Their Breed

Some cat breeds are naturally more affectionate than others. For example, Ragdoll cats are known for being particularly loving and trusting of their humans. On the other hand, Persian cats are often more independent.

When you know what to expect from your cat’s breed, you can better understand their behavior and learn how to best form a bond with them.

Woman on computer doing research
Image Credit: StockSnap, Pixabay

6. Be Patient

Cats can be slow to warm up to new people, and even those they’ve known for a while. It takes time to form a close bond with a cat, so don’t expect miracles overnight. Instead, focus on building trust and mutual respect no matter how long it takes.



Cats are unique creatures—independent but affectionate, aloof but loving. If you want to be close to your furry companion, forget about all those alpha-animal dominance games. Instead, learn to speak their language and show them the love and respect they deserve. With time, patience, and a little bit of effort, you’ll have a loyal friend for life.

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Featured Image Credit: JensEnemark, Pixabay

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